Women can be some of the strangest communicators on the planet.
 
Sometimes “yes” means “no,” and sometimes “no” means “yes.” Other times, “yes” means “yes,” and “no” means “no.” Then there are moments when “no” really means, “Try harder.” And when the man misunderstands which version she means, she becomes frustrated by the confusion her own communication created.
 
If she asks what you are doing or what you are wearing, she often does not genuinely want information. It is usually her indirect way of saying, “I don’t like what you’re doing,” or, “I don’t like what you’re wearing.” If you answer her encoded question as though it were a direct question and simply give her the information she asked for, she may become upset that you failed to read between the lines and understand what she really meant. Once again, the frustration comes from unclear communication.
 
If you notice something wrong with her attitude and ask, “What’s wrong?” she will often reply with, “Nothing.” Usually, “nothing” means something is definitely wrong. Of course, every once in a while, “nothing” actually means nothing, which only makes things more confusing. And if you correctly understand that her “nothing” actually means something is wrong, she may still become upset at you for not automatically knowing what to do next after she said “nothing” when she really meant “something.” Again, she becomes unhappy with the results of her own mixed signals.
 
Think about how absurd this becomes. If a man is expected to know that “nothing” actually means “something,” then logically he would have to constantly ask, “What’s wrong?” even during moments where nothing visibly appears wrong. Otherwise, he risks missing the moment where “nothing” secretly means “something.” But then if he asks, “What’s wrong?” during a moment where nothing actually is wrong, she may become irritated that he even asked in the first place. So whether he asks or does not ask, she is the one who gets upset.
 
Did you ever notice that when a woman asks, “Are you hungry?” or “Are you thirsty?” she often is not really asking about you at all? It is frequently her indirect way of saying, “I’m hungry,” or, “I’m thirsty.” Yet again, she gets upset at you for her miscommunication. Her indirect communication creates unnecessary disappointment.
 
Then there is the classic situation where you call her and say, “I’m bringing home food. Do you want anything?” She replies, “No, I already ate. Don’t bring me anything.” If you actually listen and bring her nothing, there is a good chance she will still get upset. Once again, her dissatisfaction comes from saying the opposite of what she truly wanted.
 
And if you ask, “What do you want to eat?” and she responds with, “I’m okay with anything,” you can almost guarantee she already has something specific in mind. She just refuses to say it out loud. Every suggestion you make after that somehow becomes the wrong answer, and she gets frustrated that you failed to magically read her mind. Her frustration grows because she expects understanding without clear communication.
 
All in all, many women seem to carry a long list of expectations about what a man should and should not do every single day depending on the situation, yet those expectations are never communicated at all. There is this unspoken belief that he is simply supposed to know. But when a man fails to perform according to the countless hidden expectations she never clearly expressed, she once again becomes frustrated beyond recognition.
 
Then there is, “Do whatever you want.” Every man knows that sentence rarely means you can actually do whatever you want. Most of the time it means, “You better figure out the correct answer on your own.” And when he picks the wrong answer, she becomes upset over expectations she never clearly communicated.
 
When she says, “I don’t care,” there is a very good chance she absolutely does care. She just does not want to directly say what she wants because then she feels less emotionally validated if you only did it because she asked. In the end, she becomes unhappy because the hidden expectation was never openly communicated.
 
If she says, “You don’t have to get me anything for my birthday or Valentine’s Day,” that often translates into, “You better not forget my birthday or Valentine’s Day.” Then when you do exactly what she said and get her nothing, she becomes upset all over again. Yet again, the disappointment comes from indirect communication instead of honesty.
 
When she says, “I’m fine,” while slamming doors, giving one word answers, avoiding eye contact, and sounding angry, every man knows she is definitely not fine. But instead of directly explaining the issue, she expects him to decode her mood, and then becomes upset when he cannot fully interpret it.
 
If she tells you about her problems and you try to solve them, she may get angry because she did not want solutions. But if she tells you her problems in a way where she expects you to solve them and you fail to solve them, then she gets upset that you did not help her. Somehow, you are expected to know which situation it is without being told. Once again, confusion replaces clarity, and frustration becomes the result.
 
Sometimes a woman will say, “Maybe we should break up,” not because she truly wants to end the relationship, but because she wants to see how much you love her, how hard you will fight for her, or how desperately you will try to change her mind. But if you try too hard, beg too much, or show too much emotion, she may suddenly lose attraction and see you as weak. Her dissatisfaction comes from testing emotions instead of communicating honestly.
 
Other times, when she says she wants to break up, she already made up her mind long ago. The relationship is over no matter what you say or do. She just wants to see you chase her, plead with her, and emotionally collapse over her decision because it validates her ego and makes her feel desired before she leaves anyway. Once again, emotional games replace honest communication, and everybody ends up miserable.
 
And finally, if she says, “You should already know why I’m upset,” you have entered the advanced level of relationship communication where you are expected to become a mind reader instead of a human being. And when you fail to read her mind correctly, she becomes upset once again.
 
What is amazing is how universal this behavior seems to be worldwide. Young boys and young girls go to the same schools, learn the same subjects, watch the same television shows, use the same phones, listen to the same music, and grow up in the same society, yet so many women still expect men to read between the lines and magically understand hidden meanings instead of simply saying what they mean directly.
 
But the moment a man communicates the same way, she gets upset. Imagine if a man started saying “yes” when he meant “no,” or “no” when he meant “yes,” then became angry because she failed to decode his secret meaning.
 
Imagine a man asking, “Are you thirsty?” then later becoming upset because she failed to realize he was indirectly asking her to get him a glass of water.
 
Imagine a man saying, “Do whatever you want,” then becoming furious because she picked the wrong option.
 
Imagine a man saying, “Nothing’s wrong,” while stomping around the house slamming doors, then blaming her for not reading his mind correctly.
 
Imagine a man saying, “I don’t care where we eat,” then rejecting every restaurant she suggests while getting irritated that she failed to magically guess the one place he secretly wanted.
 
And imagine a man constantly threatening to break up just to test her love, wanting her to beg him to stay, only to lose respect for her because she begged too much. Most women would call that manipulative, emotionally exhausting, immature, and toxic behavior immediately.
 
Yet somehow many men are expected to navigate that exact communication style every single day and are blamed when they fail to interpret hidden meanings correctly. In example after example, the pattern stays the same. She communicates indirectly, encodes what she really means, says the opposite of what she wants, expects mind reading instead of direct honesty, and then becomes upset at the response her own miscommunication created. A large part of her unhappiness in the relationship is born from the confusion, frustration, disappointment, and emotional tension created by her refusal to communicate clearly in the first place.
 
What makes this pattern even stranger is that it does not seem to be caused by an inability to communicate.
 
What makes this even stranger is that most women have no difficulty communicating directly with almost everyone else in their lives. When speaking to a doctor, they can clearly explain their symptoms. When speaking to a lawyer, they can clearly explain their problem. When ordering food, they can tell a waiter exactly what they want. When dealing with a merchant, a customer service representative, a teacher, a coworker, or a complete stranger, they are usually capable of communicating their needs directly and clearly. Yet when it comes to the one man who has dedicated his life to them, suddenly everything becomes hints, implications, hidden meanings, emotional puzzles, and unspoken expectations. The person closest to her often receives the least direct communication.
 
What makes this even more frustrating is that the information is often being communicated. It is just not being communicated to the one person who could actually use it to fix the problem.
 
Almost every man who has gone through a breakup or divorce has experienced this. The relationship ends and he is left completely confused, wondering what went wrong. Then he discovers something astonishing. Her friends knew exactly what was wrong. They knew every complaint, every frustration, every disappointment, every fear, every interpretation, and every story she was telling herself about the relationship. She communicated all of it to them in clear and direct language. Yet the one person who needed that information most, her husband or boyfriend, often received nothing but hints, vague statements, emotional signals, indirect comments, and expectations that were never clearly expressed. The friends got the explanation. The husband got the hints. The boyfriend got the puzzle. And then everybody wonders why he was confused.
 
And if you ask almost any woman who the better communicators are between men and women, many of them will answer immediately, confidently, and without hesitation that women are better communicators.
 
Maybe it’s time for men to start communicating in hints and then blame women for failing to understand what was never clearly communicated in the first place.