She will complain to her friends and family that you are not giving her what she never asked for. She will be angry that you cannot read her mind. In her mind, if you truly loved her, you would magically know what she wants.
She believes telling you directly would ruin the gesture because it would not come from you naturally. So she drops hints. But hints are not communication, they are games.
She feels betrayed when you do not give her what she wanted, but the truth is she betrayed herself. She set impossible expectations. Her own refusal to communicate clearly built the wall between you and her, and she will still blame you for it.
Today’s woman is no longer bound by the traditions she calls oppressive. She has complete freedom to choose her own path in relationships, and she uses that freedom to serve her own advantage. She may be drawn to the Alpha male for his strength and presence, but she will settle for the Beta male when she needs temporary shelter, a steady paycheck, and protection she did not earn. Her goal is not love or loyalty, her goal is stability on her terms, for as long as it benefits her. She will remain until she finds a man with more resources, more status, or more opportunities, and that man becomes the father of her children.
When she is with an Alpha male, she will test him. She will push, provoke, and create conflict. She will mistreat him just to see how much he will take before he pushes back. Over time, the manipulation becomes second nature, so ingrained that even she cannot tell if she is testing him or simply acting on habit. The drama is constant, a calculated way to measure his tolerance. If he refuses to accept it and walks away, she will put all the blame on him. “He didn’t know how to handle me,” she will say, as if she is a storm that must be mastered. In her mind, she is never at fault.
When she burns the Alpha bridge, she returns to a Beta male. She treats him less like a partner and more like a servant. He provides, he protects, he caters to her demands. She rewards him with contempt. She resents his kindness, sees his loyalty as weakness, and quietly despises him for bending to her. That resentment festers until she cheats, and when she is caught, she blames him for letting it happen.
Her definition of Alpha or Beta is not based on reality, it is based on her emotions in the moment. If she is pleased, he is Alpha. If she is displeased, he is Beta. Her judgments are unstable because her emotions are unstable, and a man’s worth in her eyes can shift in a single day. This is why her praise means nothing and her criticism even less, both are just echoes of her mood, not reflections of the truth.
It’s easy for any female to prove her equality to men;
All she needs to do is take lesson in a trade school and become a mechanic, HVAC repair, truck driver, cab driver, plumber, electrician and it’s done. No need for protesting and shouting. Just do it!
In the 1930s my grandfather came to America waving the American flag. He kissed the ground of his new homeland. He worked hard and studied to become an American citizen. He married an American woman and had two kids, my mother and my uncle.
When World War II broke out my grandfather volunteered to join the US Army. He left his wife and children behind to serve a country he had only just begun to call his own.
Alone and armed with nothing but an eighth grade education, my grandmother picked up cleaning jobs and carried her family on her back. There were no Food Stamps, no Welfare, no WIC, no housing projects, and no Section 8. She had no support except grit.
For two years this went on. No phone calls, barely any letters. My grandfather never knew enough English to write one anyway.
My grandmother stayed strong. She didn’t whine that her man wasn’t giving her enough attention. She didn’t cry about not having a $10,000 Gucci purse. She didn’t run to the government for handouts. She stood firm and held her family together.
Now look at today. Migrants enter this country illegally, full of hatred and contempt for the very nation they’re trying to live in. They burn our flag while waving the same flag from the country they claim they had to escape. They demand free housing, free food, and free benefits from a government they openly despise.
The women of today cheer the government as it dismantles the family. They trade in husbands for handouts. They demand subsidized rent, free meals, and medication while financially crippling the only man who ever cared for their child. They swap out men for the government check and then dare to scream they’re empowered and independent.
When I say this out loud to the modern woman, her response is always the same pathetic line, “That was then.”
Do you really think the women of today could do what my grandmother did? Could they survive without validation, attention, or government support? No. They would bolt at the first inconvenience and find another man to replace the father of their child like he was nothing. Yet these same women chant about strength and independence like it means something.
Many years ago, I posted ads on Craigslist offering to pay women for sex. I would never pay a skank for sex. They are too dirty, and there’s no telling when they’ll make false claims against you. The replies came flooding in. I took their email addresses and used Facebook to uncover their real identities. (Back then, Craigslist didn’t mask email addresses.)
What I found was shocking. Married women with husbands who were bankers, businessmen, brokers, you name it. Women with beautiful homes, professionally decorated. One woman ran a catering business and met clients in venues she catered for. Another had a five-month-old child at home. One was using Craigslist to book clients both in New York and Minnesota where her husband’s family lived. Another was a single welfare mom with a sixteen-year-old son.
They ranged from 19 to 50 years old. The 50-year-olds posted pictures of themselves from high school. The younger ones would tell me they were doing this to pay for college. (Funny how I worked real jobs to pay for college.)
You cannot trust a woman while you are at work. They will spread diseases you can’t even imagine, and then they’ll have the nerve to blame you. If they got caught hooking, they’d still blame you, saying you weren’t good enough in bed or that you always worked too much.
Truth be told, I started pimping these girls out. I pimped six girls in total, peaking at three girls working for me at the same time. My best girl was pulling three tricks a day. Looking back, I think some of them acted up on purpose just to get a beating from me.
Today, a woman who knew my writings decided to confront me about my views on women. She asked why I only wrote about bad women and never about the good ones. I asked her where I could find one of these good women. She pointed at herself with both thumbs and said, “Me.”
I started asking questions. She told me she had been married for six years and had two children, a 12 year old boy and a 9 year old girl. I immediately realized she had been married before and asked why she divorced her first husband. She claimed he never worked. But after digging deeper, I found out that her first husband had actually worked two jobs. Her real complaint was that he did not make enough money for her liking. She also admitted she refused to work because she believed providing was a man’s job.
I pointed out that in her second marriage she was now working, the very thing she refused to do in her first marriage. She did not like hearing that.
I asked how she met her second husband. She said they met and hit it off right away. I pressed further, asking if she had been looking for a replacement while still married to her first husband. She admitted she had. I asked if she secured her second husband before leaving her first. She said yes, without the slightest hesitation, as if there was nothing wrong with it.
Then I asked if she was currently looking for a replacement for her second husband. She acted shocked and demanded to know why I would ask that. I repeated the question. She said she loved her current husband. I told her it would have been easier to answer “yes” or “no” rather than dodge the question twice. I told her I would take her non-answer as a “yes.”
I asked if she wanted her son to marry a woman and raise another man’s children. She said, “No,” without hesitation. When I asked why, she said it was a terrible deal. So I asked how she felt about her second husband accepting the exact same terrible deal from her. Her face went red.
Then I hit her harder: “Do you want your son’s future wife to declare that he’s not doing enough, find a new man, and have him raise your future grandchildren so you can visit them in another man’s home?” She tensed up but kept her composure because she was at her place of business. She insisted that would never happen because her son is a great kid.
I reminded her that boys often seek out women like their mothers, so she should not be too confident.
Finally, I asked if she wanted her daughter to actively look for a replacement husband once she got married. That is when she got up and walked away.
I never judged her. I never insulted her. I just asked questions. She got angry because I made her look in a mirror, and she did not like the reflection staring back at her.
I look at the girls of today who can’t keep their legs closed, and then they turn around and blame you for it. They say it’s your fault. You didn’t give them enough attention. You were too busy working. Too busy providing the life they demanded.
While you were building the foundation, she was tearing it down behind your back. And somehow, you are still the villain in her story.
Modern dating has collapsed into a never ending brutal exchange of looks and money. A woman temporarily trades her beauty for a man’s income and the bond is never stable because the market never sleeps. To her there is always room to upgrade as she is on the lookout no matter if she is married engaged etc. If a woman raises her status with a college degree and raises her income higher than the man she is currently with she views him as worthless. She immediately searches for another with a higher market value. This is a society that openly rewards chaos and punishes structure. We now live in a normalized culture that encourages women to have fifteen kids from ten different men and men to have thirty kids from thirty different women. That is not a family built on cohesion or moral values. That is factory breeding designed to collect multiple streams of child support welfare SNAP EBT and Section 8. No accountability. No unity. No responsibility. Only profit.
She upgrades without consequence and he pays the penalty for moving forward. She raises her income and walks out with the kids which tears the bond with the father who mattered most to that child. She raises her beauty and draws new men with more resources and she walks away clean because the system punishes him and protects her. Upgrading is profit for her. Upgrading is punishment for him.Marriage once stood as a fortress around family. Now it chains a man with lifetime obligation long after the relationship collapses. If her expectations were built in fantasy and the fantasy fails the punishment is real. The system lets her walk away with half his life while he rebuilds from the ashes. He must keep her endlessly happy yet happiness is not something one person can create for another. Happiness must be built inside and no man can supply it no matter how hard he fights.
And yet these same women cry out with the tired line “where are all the good men” as if they were victims of a shortage. They are not victims of a shortage. They are victims of their own habits. They spent their teens and twenties disrespecting every man who treated them well. They used men tested them provoked them teased them insulted them humiliated them played them finessed them and cheated on them without guilt. A woman gets hit on a hundred times a month. That becomes twelve hundred times a year. That becomes twelve thousand times between eighteen and twenty eight. And with all that male attention she still chooses the same kind of man. The gangster. The criminal. The alcoholic. The gambler. The abuser. The ex con. The player. The cheater. The disaster. The drug addict. The dealer. The thief.
She seeks chaos because chaos excites her. It feeds her ego. It fuels her fantasy that she can tame destruction. So she picks the worst men alive then claims innocence when the fire burns her. The problem is never the absence of good men. The problem is her blindness to good men. A stable man a disciplined man a peaceful man feels boring to a woman raised on dysfunction. So she ignores him disrespects him or uses him until he finally walks.
The only things she initiates are arguments and breakups. She bounces from man to man expecting unlimited dates constant attention and endless payments from any fool desperate enough to tolerate her games. Some women have even abandon their husband and their children to marry a man on death row or locked in a maximum security prison. There is no bottom to the craving for chaos.
Then forty arrives. Her beauty fades. Her attention shrinks. Her options collapse. She looks at the ruins she built and she cries “where are all the good men”. The answer is brutal. Those good men were always there. They simply stopped tolerating disrespect. They walked away to save their sanity. They built new lives with peace and discipline and purpose. They invested in themselves instead of being drained by arguments nagging and endless demands.
A woman treats a man worse than a slave because she sees him as a work animal that must never rest. She rages the moment he sits because in her mind he exists to serve. She demands labor and gives chaos. She demands loyalty and gives disrespect. She demands effort and gives nothing but stress. This pattern destroys relationships and many have watched it ruin the lives of countless men.
So when these women hit the wall they dare to ask “where are all the good men”. The truth is simple. Good men are exactly where any man with self respect eventually goes. They are far away. They are unreachable. They refuse to return to women who wasted their youth on destruction. Good men were never missing. Good men simply stopped dealing with women who refused to be worth reaching.
At work, my manager started dating a girl in a different department. I told him to be careful. He took my warnings lightly.
After a few weeks of dating and bed hopping, he took the woman to an after work gathering where someone asked if she was his new girlfriend. He replied, “I’m not sure yet, but so far, it looks good.”
She was furious. “What do you mean you are not sure?”
From what I heard, she yelled, screamed, and carried on well beyond a normal office party.
The next morning, he told me the story. He thought he was going to lose his job. As the day went on, Human Resources assured him his part in the incident would not hurt his career.
By 5pm, it was time for me to go home. My cubicle was right next to his office, and I heard the front door open and close. It was her. She stood in front of his office, explaining how last night’s incident was not her fault. He stayed at his desk, telling her it was over, and he couldn’t afford any more incidents that would damage his career.
She pleaded and begged him to reconsider. He stuck to his guns and said, “No.”
The conversation escalated from “It’s not my fault” to “You are to blame.”
My manager, a great friend, knew I was still at my cubicle listening to back him up if needed.
Noticing the encounter was heading into dangerous territory, my friend told her I was nearby to witness and protect him. I spoke up in the deepest, most authoritative voice I could muster, “Is there any trouble in there?”
She walked over to my cubicle, saw me, and got visibly intimidated. (I look as intimidating as a member of Tony Soprano’s crew.) I held up a broken digital camera and told her I was recording everything.
She looked shocked, said a few last words, and left.
My friend thanked me. When he found a new job, I was his first hire, and he gave me a great position.
It’s important to remember: MGTOW is not an organization or political movement, it’s a philosophy. At its core is the belief that men do not need women or a gynocentric society to determine their value. MGTOW men determine their worth through their own personal achievements, based on their lives and standards, not anyone else’s.
MGTOW includes men of all races, Black, White, Asian, and Brown. It spans across political spectrums, from conservative to liberal, and includes followers of many different religions. Because of these cultural, racial, and societal differences, MGTOW members may disagree on various issues. However, all share the understanding that feminism, and everything derived from it, is harmful.
A central concept of MGTOW is “ghosting.” At its simplest, this means being invisible. The most effective defense against narcissistic women who seek to manipulate and emotionally abuse you is to avoid them entirely. Feminists cannot attack what they cannot see.
The best way to avoid societal pressure to conform to gynocentric ideals is to remain invisible while focusing on your own life. Avoiding the worship of women is a core survival skill. Equally important is steering clear of men who engage in such behavior, whether they are traditional conservatives (tradcons), liberal “white knights,” pickup artists (PUAs), or simply “thirsty simps.”
We don’t need protests, petitions, or advocacy. MGTOW simply requires stepping away from commitments to narcissistic, abusive, and manipulative women. Doing so allows us to focus on our own lives. Often, natural consequences for such women are far more effective than anything we could orchestrate.
Time is a non-renewable resource, and MGTOW understands this deeply. Our time should be spent on self-improvement and personal happiness, not wasted arguing with individuals who refuse to acknowledge the truth or take accountability for their own flaws. Political protests in the name of men’s rights are rarely effective. It’s far better to ghost and let nature take its course.
Instead, educate yourself. Read, learn new skills, or refine existing ones. Share your knowledge with other men. These actions strengthen the MGTOW community and set an example for others to follow.
MGTOW recognizes that avoiding the rigged systems of marriage, commitment, and the politics surrounding them draws criticism from gynocentric hypocrites. The best response is to ghost and disappear. After all, no one can attack what they cannot see.
You are not alone. The number of men embracing this philosophy grows daily, as more awaken to the reality that many modern women are unable to uphold the lifelong commitment of marriage, or even monogamous relationships.
MGTOW is a natural reaction to feminist policies. As long as these policies continue to discriminate against men, the movement will grow.
So, brothers, wherever you are and whatever you do in life, support one another. In times of crisis, ensure that those in need know they are not alone. Life after gynocentrism is not only possible, it’s worth living. Ghosting, doing your own thing, and standing by your brothers is the best defense against gynocentric hypocrisy.
We are men. As such, we are strong enough to overcome any obstacle we set our minds to.
Women think through their emotions. Their sense of right and wrong is not built on logic, it’s built on how something makes them feel. If it feels good, it must be right. If it feels bad, it must be wrong. That’s why a woman will believe a comforting lie over a painful truth every time. She doesn’t process facts; she processes the feelings those facts trigger.
When a woman is doing something that feels good to her, she becomes blind to the consequences. If you explain the outcome and it doesn’t align with how she wants to feel, she will reject it. It doesn’t matter how logical your reasoning is. To her, bad feelings mean bad information. She is emotionally allergic to anything that disrupts her personal narrative.
A man, on the other hand, approaches correction differently. When you tell a man he is doing something wrong, he may resist at first, but deep down he wants to understand. He wants to fix it. Men are wired to solve problems, even if the solution requires swallowing pride. A man seeks clarity. A woman seeks emotional comfort. If you tell her she’s wrong, she will see it as an attack. It’s not a lesson to her, it’s a wound.
The older a woman gets without being grounded in a man’s logic, the more detached from reality she becomes. The longer she operates inside her emotional echo chamber, the more delusional she grows. Feelings replace facts, fantasies replace accountability, and the truth becomes something she refuses to accept unless it flatters her.
But a woman cannot escape this emotional trap on her own. Left to her feelings, she will keep spinning in circles, believing whatever soothes her in the moment and rejecting anything that threatens her illusions. She needs a man’s guidance to anchor her back to reality. A man’s logic is the mirror she avoids but desperately needs to face. Without a man to confront her emotions with hard truth, she will never develop the discipline to think beyond her feelings.
The longer she remains without the logical discipline a man provides, the worse it gets. She will start viewing constructive criticism as abuse. She will see correction as control. Anything positive that results from logical understanding will look like oppression to her. She will reject it because it doesn’t feel good. Logic will become the enemy. Truth will become an attack. And the more she resists, the deeper she sinks into emotional delusion, mistaking every opportunity for growth as an assault on her identity.
A man’s role is not to entertain her delusions, but to lead her out of them. Logic isn’t something she stumbles upon, it’s something that must be introduced, enforced, and reinforced by a man who refuses to bow to her emotional games. Without that, she stays trapped in a cycle of self-deception, never learning, never growing, never admitting she is wrong.
We all learn and grow from the mistakes we make, but a woman is never wrong.
Hetty Green, known as The Witch of Wall Street, is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the stingiest woman in history. Her net worth in today’s dollars was over $5.4 billion.
Despite her extreme wealth, she married a millionaire and lived on leftover cakes and broken biscuits from a nearby bakery.
She caused her own son to lose his leg because she wasted time looking for a free clinic instead of paying a hospital bill.
She died in 1916 at the age of 81 from a stroke while arguing with her maid over a pay raise.
My neighbor’s son got into a serious accident that left him permanently crippled and partially brain damaged. A girl “fell in love” with him for a long time until he won a huge amount of money in the lawsuit. Before that, she was pressuring the boy to marry her.
The father made his son sign over all his awards to himself and made himself his son’s caretaker and guardian.
When the girl found that the father was the only one that was in charge of the money, the girl left as if the boy was poison. She never returned.
• Would you still love your mother and father if they made less money than you do?
• Would you still love your sons and daughters if they made less money than you do?
• Would you still love your aunts and uncles if they made less money than you do?
• Would you still love your cousins if they made less money than you do?
• Would you still love your brothers and sisters if they made less money than you do?
Then why will you not love the man you promised to love and cherish until death? Why do you punish your own children by removing the most important man from their lives simply because he lost a job? Why do you call the police, hire lawyers, and run to judges to break him down when he fails to fulfill every fantasy and cannot serve your every want, need, desire, and emotion on a silver platter exactly when, where, and how you demand it?
Why do you choose to hate the very hand that fed you? Why do you take the love you vowed to give and lock it away the moment he is no longer a perfect provider in your eyes?
A vow is not a contract you cancel when your lifestyle dips. It is not a promise with a clause that expires when you are no longer entertained. The man you discard is the same man you chose. The man you betray is the one you once called your future. When you strip him from your children, you do not just punish him, you punish them. And for what? For failing to keep you in the comfort you decided you deserved.
I got a call from a woman in her mid forties who told me her son had died the day before. For a moment, I actually felt bad. I wondered if I could even handle the call on the psychic line I was working. She said her two sons had been arguing while working a roofing job. One of them fell off the roof and died.
I braced myself, thinking she was going to ask me to channel his spirit or something equally bizarre. I was wrong. Without a pause, without even letting the gravity of that statement hang in the air, she rolled right into the real reason for her call.
“I met this man a while ago,” she said, “and he has yet to ask me out. I see him regularly and we talk all the time. Does he love me? Will he ever get the nerve to ask me out?”
I sat there amazed. Her son had died yesterday and she was asking me about whether some man might ask her on a date. No tears. No grief. No second thought about her dead son.
I stopped the call. I told her I had forgotten to take my medication and was feeling ill. I hung up.
She called back thirty minutes later. Not a single mention of her son’s death. All she wanted to talk about was how to get this man to take her out.
For those still chasing “Miss Right,” here’s an impassable test that will expose her before she wastes your time.
Ask her:
1. How many successful relationships have you had?
• The correct answer is zero. If she claims otherwise, ask why it ended if it was so “successful.” Did she hit her goal and leave? If she’s over 25 and still single, why can’t she keep a man?
2. Are you looking for a provider?
• If she says yes, ask who’s providing for her right now. Then press for specifics, what provisions does she expect? Get her to define her shopping list.
3. Why did your last relationship end?
• Whatever she says, hold it against her.
• “We didn’t get along” ? Why can’t you get along with people?
• “We weren’t right for each other” ? Then why did you start dating him?
• “He cheated / lied / was a drug addict” ? “Sounds like you love bad boys and have terrible judgment. That’s on you.”
4. He was abusive
• Tell her there are thousands of men who will never hit a woman, yet she found the one who would. Either she has a talent for picking abusers, or she did something to provoke it. Violence doesn’t just drop from the sky.
5. He always did what I told him
• Ask why she told him to do things she didn’t actually want him to do. If she admits to it, she’s manipulative. If she denies it, she’s lying.
This isn’t just a test for her, it’s a test for you to see if you have the spine to walk away the moment you see the truth.
In a massacre that should disgust every man with a pulse, over 63 million American babies have been killed since the 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling . That is not a statistic, it is a human catastrophe beyond belief.
Entire generations erased before their first breath. Millions of sons who would have carried your name and daughters who would have called you father, all gone, discarded under the banner of “choice” and hailed as progress.
Make no mistake, this was not liberation. It was execution. And ignoring the blood price will not make it disappear.
Politicians deliberately stripped fathers of their rights. The media sold this genocide as empowerment. Activists dressed it up as equality. In truth, they used it as a cultural wrecking ball, destroying the family, replacing fathers with bureaucrats, and weaponizing women into political tools.
In 2007 I met a woman named Melissa at a political venue while supporting a presidential candidate. She lived close to me and came from the same small European country as I did. Married since 1980, which I naively thought made her safe. Back then I believed women fell into only two categories, those who love their families and those who do not. I had not yet learned how wrong I was.
We attended political conferences together, rode the New York City subway, traveled with groups to Washington DC, New Hampshire, Philadelphia, and other cities. She was friendly with some of my other friends, so she was always in the mix. Eventually I met her husband and learned she had three children. He was a decent man. Which made what came later all the more revealing.
One day I saw her lecturing a group of younger women, telling them to marry for money, to find a man who could keep them comfortable. She said it like it was a fact of nature, not advice. I should have seen it as her playbook, but I let it slide.
She once bragged about faking arguments to see where people go. That was not a quirk, it was a loyalty test. She was measuring weaknesses, looking for exits. I called her on it, asked her how long she faked them, what kind of arguments, and what the point was. She dropped it.
Years passed. Calls went from monthly to twice a year. We rarely crossed paths. Then COVID hit and suddenly she was calling every week. We talked about keeping our families safe, about surviving without work, about riding out the storm.
At the end of the COVID scare I told her about an argument with my nephew that made me cancel my offer to buy his two kids houses. She ignored the family issue and asked if I really had that kind of money. I said yes, because I am not married.
Soon after, she asked me to set up her new computer. I offered to do it remotely, but she claimed she did not trust the remote software. She wanted me at her apartment. I went. She cooked dinner. Her husband came home, we exchanged pleasantries. I suspected nothing.
Then one day she told me I should find someone to share my life with, that I needed a companion. Women sometimes say this as a way of hinting they want you to pick them without saying it directly. I did not see this at that time. I told her I had been single for 25 years, divorced, and happy. Every woman I had been with either found a reason to leave or acted like such a child I had to walk away. I said I wanted no part of it.
She pressed. I said no, I do not want to be anyone’s boyfriend. Not mama’s boyfriend, not grandma’s boyfriend. I will not fund a fully grown adult who refuses to support herself. She kept pushing. I said no, I am not doing this.
She said, “You picked the wrong ones.” I said she was right. I do pick the wrong ones. That is why I do not pick anymore. Her tone shifted. She changed the subject to politics but took a position I had never heard her take. I questioned her. We argued. She accused me of not liking her, called me a false friend, and hung up. She never called again.
It hit me immediately,this was her fake argument trick. Months later I heard her husband was about to retire, and his salary would drastically be reduced. Friends also asked why I had “made a move” on her. At 61, with her at 68, I had no interest. But I have seen this move before.
Women make advances, and when rejected, they reverse the story. I have seen it since I was ten. In my teens, mothers of friends hit on me, and when I refused, they told their kids to stay away from me. Girlfriends’ mothers have tried it. It is the same playbook. Turn the man into the aggressor when he says no.
The only thing that changed between me and Melissa was that she learned I had money. She thought I would break up her family to spend it on her. That was never going to happen. But like any monkey swinging through the trees, she was already searching for her next branch before letting go of the one she was on.
A friend of mine, despite my warnings, got married for the third time. He was 36, she was 24. She had a three-year-old daughter, he had an eleven-year-old son and an eight-year-old daughter. Within months she started the same routine I have seen a hundred times:
• “You always do this.”
• “You never do that.”
• “You should do this more.”
• “You shouldn’t do that.”
• “Why do you always…?”
• “You should tell me when you do that.”
• “Why do we always have to…?”
It became relentless. He came to me for advice. I told him, “Every time she finds something wrong with you, tell her to go find a perfect man.” He hesitated, afraid she might leave. I told him if she left, his problems with her would be over.
He took my advice. Not long after, she called me saying, “Your friend wants to divorce me.” I acted as if I didn’t know why and asked questions to hear her side. Eventually, I said, “So every time you point out something he does wrong, he tells you to go find a perfect man?”
Then I laid it out: “This man has a house, two cars, two kids he drives to school every day, and he includes your daughter in his daily life. Yet you find ten problems with him every day?”
She paused, then started with, “But I do this because…”
I cut her off. “Are you perfect? Do you ask permission for everything you do? Would you want someone nitpicking your every move?”
It was like a light switch flipped. She asked, “Do I really do that?”
I told her, “I don’t know. I’m not there all day.”
I’ve been single now for 17 years and in that time I’ve saved a mountain of money. But suddenly I feel this overwhelming urge to flush it all away by rescuing a single mother with two or three kids from different fathers.
Yeah, let me sign up to drain my savings paying for kids that aren’t mine. I want to cover their school fees, sports, new shoes, latest gadgets, and family vacations just so I can play daddy without a shred of authority. I want to buy another man’s kid their first car while the biological father pops in twice a month with a check and a smile.
Let me become the unpaid babysitter, the emotional punching bag, and the financial lifeline to a woman who already made her bed with multiple men before me. Let me raise the consequences of other men’s decisions while being told I have no say.
And while I’m at it, I’ll gladly let her crawl into my phone and delete pictures of any female relative she feels threatened by. Doesn’t matter if it’s my cousin in a prom dress or my niece at a pageant. If it’s a female and attractive, it’s gone.
Meanwhile, her ex’s ghost gets a front-row seat in my house. I get to see the proof of his orgasm every single day. He still haunts her, still shapes her mood, still dictates her schedule. I just pay the price.
This is the modern reward for a responsible man. Play hero to someone else’s story and get vilified for expecting respect.
Today I argued with my eighty one year old father.
My father and mother separated when I was four. I lived with my unstable mother until the age of ten, then moved to Europe to live with my retired grandparents until I was fourteen. When I returned to America, I was told my father had been found. My mother had hidden us from him, poisoning my mind with hatred toward him, and I believed her.
Years later, my mother’s behavior became unbearable. I moved in with my father, but the hate I had been taught still lived in me, through no fault of his own. I graduated high school, left for college, quit, and got my own apartment while working for my father. I still carried the same resentment.
Eventually my father remarried and had two sons. No one pushed me aside, but I felt like an outsider in his new family. So I left and never looked back.
Sixteen years later, I reconnected with my brothers on Facebook, leading to a tearful reunion. By that time I was divorced, and I understood my father better. The hate had disappeared, somewhere after my mother’s death.
Over the years I visited my father, stepmother, and brothers regularly. But every visit came with the same questions from him:
“How’s your love life?”
“Any new romances?”
“Anyone new in your life?”
“Met anyone at work?”
“I married at forty six, there’s still hope for you.”
“Your grandfather married at fifty three, there’s still hope for you.”
“My tenant thinks you’re good looking.”
Every single visit was one of those same lines. It wore me down. Eventually my older half brother joined in with his own lectures. I shrugged it off for years until one day, walking through a mall, my father asked again. I snapped.
“What’s with the questions? Do you think I’m gay? What’s wrong with me? What do you want me to do to make you happy?” I shouted, making it clear that I was single and staying that way.
The very next day, he asked again. It was like he had not heard a word I said.
When I got home, I sent him several of my articles and followed with a text:
Maybe one day you and Billy will stop calling me gay.”
He told me not to be ridiculous. I told him straight, the lectures and hints hurt me. I did not care what his tenant thought of me. I was done being poked at. You cannot keep pushing a tiger and not expect it to bite.
I reminded him that I had already been with enough psychotic girlfriends who saw me only as a provider. I was not going back to that insanity. Yes, I know the tired line, “Not all women are like that,” followed by the accusation that it is my fault for picking them. My answer is simple. I will not pick them anymore.
I cut out people who nag me about being single. I do not want to have to cut out my father. I have been with too many women. I only wanted one. I am not jumping back into the fire. Women with multiple children from multiple men, with histories of abortions and STDs, are not for me. Entitled women who expect the world from me have no place in my life. I was not put here to be a woman’s meal ticket.
He said he would not mention it again. I told him please, keep that promise.
Later I apologized for blowing up, explaining that it is a sensitive subject for me. He accepted my apology. I told him I value the time we have together and do not want it to end. He told me it ends when he passes on, and that I will still have my siblings and his wife. I told him there will be time.
