All of us men know exactly what it means when a woman asks us what we do for a living. She’s not curious about your passion or career goals. She’s asking, How much money do you have.
Here’s how I’ve answered that loaded question in the past:
• I’m not looking for a girlfriend right now, sorry.
• I don’t make enough money for you to love me. Hell, I don’t even make enough for you to like me.
• Would you date a man who works at McDonald’s? When she says “No,” I hit her with, Good, because I work at McDonald’s.
• My grandmother told me never to trust a woman who asks what you do before she even knows your last name. Then I ask her, What’s my last name?
• I ask her age and weight. When she gets offended and says those are inappropriate questions, I remind her, So is asking a man how much he earns.
• Whatever I want. What about you? Still looking for a man to fund your lifestyle?
• I collect red flags. You just gave me another one.
• I’m retired from impressing women who bring nothing to the table.
• I breathe. Is that enough for you to respect me, or do you need a bank statement too?
• I’m a professional time waster, but only with women who ask stupid questions.
• I invest in people who don’t ask shallow questions. You just lost funding.
• I work in quality control. First test failed.
• I’m in the business of filtering out gold diggers. Congratulations, you just made the list.
• I make money. You make assumptions.
• I’m a mirror. I reflect the same energy you give me. So, what do you offer besides your looks?
• Are you writing a book?
• I’m a pimp.
