I watch friends, neighbors, and relatives get divorced because their wives believe happiness comes from a provider. When these wives are unhappy, not because of anything the man did, but because they have achieved nothing of their own, they blame the man for not serving happiness on a silver platter. Their solution is divorce.
The man then spends a fortune on lawyers, only to watch judges play god with his children’s lives. Soon another man marries his ex-wife, moves in, and becomes the dominant figure in his children’s lives. And far too often, the divorced man repeats the cycle by marrying another homewrecker who left her own husband. Now he’s supporting children that aren’t his, while the real father watches helplessly as another man takes over his role.
I remember looking my stepfather in the eye one day and telling him, “You are not my father,” after my mother insisted he lay down the law on me. Coincidentally, his own kids said the same thing to their surrogate father when he tried it with them.
I swore I would never be a surrogate father and never allow my children to have one. The first part is in my control. The second is not, because it rests on the prerogative of a woman, and that prerogative is to change her mind. And of course, when you point that out, they all say the same line: “But not all women.”
