I dated a Director of Marketing for a large international cosmetics company, where she had worked for twelve years.
We spent weekends together, and from time to time, she experienced what she called a panic attack. Whenever this happened, I did my best to calm her down, asking what I could do to help and taking steps to ease her condition.
Over the course of eight months, she had six of these episodes. Determined to support her, I read books and consulted professionals to better understand what she might be going through.
One day, I asked her how often she experienced these attacks at work, thinking it might help identify triggers. She told me, without hesitation, that she had never once had an episode on the job.
In that moment, it became clear. These panic attacks were not random. They were likely staged, designed to manipulate me for attention or control.
I saw my exit. I looked her in the eye and said, “Maybe I’m the trigger that causes these episodes.”
She knew I was about to leave her, and right on cue, another attack started. Watching it unfold, I calmly told her, “This confirms I’m no good for you,” and I walked out of her apartment.
When I got home, there was a message waiting on my answering machine. Her friend said the police had been called, and she had been admitted to Bellevue Hospital for observation.
The same friend called again later, trying to convince me to come back and help her. I asked one simple question, “What are you doing to help her?”
That was the last time I ever heard from either of them.
