Women seek control because control gives them a sense of security. A woman doesn’t feel safe unless she’s in control of her environment and the people in it. This is why one of the first indicators of security for her is physical dominance. She wants a man who is taller, stronger, richer, and more powerful than other men. But it doesn’t stop there. Once she has the man, the next step is testing how much control she can gain over him. The more control she gains, the more secure she feels, or so she thinks.
Here’s the flaw: when she successfully controls a man, when he bends to her will, when he becomes compliant and accommodating to her emotional demands, she loses respect for him. He feels weak to her. She no longer sees him as the strong, dominant protector she once admired. But if he resists her control, if he stands firm and refuses to submit, she feels insecure. She mistakes his strength as a threat to her emotional safety, not realizing that his refusal to be controlled is exactly the kind of strength she was seeking in the first place.
A woman doesn’t have the analytical capacity of a logical mind to see the flaw in this test. She doesn’t understand that the security she craves isn’t found in controlling a man, but in following a man who can’t be controlled. But she’s been conditioned otherwise since childhood. She learned early how to manipulate with fake tears, fake injuries, fake complaints, and fake displays of weakness. She discovered that emotional performance could bend people to her will. By the time she becomes a grown woman, these tactics are second nature.
But when she encounters a man who is immune to her games, she doesn’t know how to process it. She will either reject him because he doesn’t make her feel in control, or she will double down and try harder to break him. What she doesn’t understand is that her security doesn’t come from winning control over him. It comes from knowing that she’s with a man who cannot be controlled. The very resistance she perceives as a threat is the foundation of the protection she secretly craves. But she’s too deep in her emotional reflexes to see it.
